PS, I Love Romance Comedy
by Bella Skywalker
Summary: A bunch of funny stories about Anakin and Padme. I will have A/P moment from the tv show for chaps as well.
1. I Love Critizising Twilight!

**Hi, everyone! I'm finally starting a series of Anakin and Padme stories I've been meaning to start. I'll try to have them up every Friday or Saturday. And if I can't.... then SUE ME!**

**Anyway, here's the first one.**

**Please review or I won't continue. ( Ha! That almost rhymes!)  
**

**BTW, if you see some of the characters in my stories say 'kick bomb' for no reason, it's just because it's my saying. Thanks again!**

**I don't own Star Wars. I only wish I did.  
**

* * *

"I can't believe it! I set up the greatest date ever, and my own love-of-my-life isn't even here!" Senator Padme Amidala to two of her handmaidens, Elle and Motee. The three ladies stood around the coffee table, which had a big bole of popcorn, a plate-full of delicious cookies, and seven romantic movies. In front of the coffee table was a projector to a home-sized motion picture screen. Padme wore a Senatorial dress, one that looked very similar to the dress she wore when Bane held her hostage with other Senators, but her sleeves were a darker purple. The two handmaidens had purple-red cloaks on, with their hoods down. It was also night time, and pitch black. The only light were of all of the buildings of Coruscant.

"It is alright,Milady. I'm sure the General will come. You know how he is. Just pops out of nowhere," Motee tried to assure the Senator. Padme smiled warmly at her handmaiden.

"Thank you, Motee. You _are_ right about that. It's like he can sense my troubles, even from far away. Like when I sometimes just think of him, he comes home to see me. Or just when he wants to have some of those "Triple Diple Choco Chunko Chip Aero Dipped With Hersey Kisses Cookies" that the recipe has been in my family for generations," Padme thanked Motee, as she pointed to the plate-full of cookies.

" I love those "Triple Diple Choco Chunko Chip Aero Dipped With Hersey Kisses Cookies"! They're soooo good!" Elle explained from behind them. Padme and Motee both looked at the other handmaiden.

"I appreciate them very much, Milady," Elle told them, a bit calmer now.

"Thank you,Elle. I very much appreciate that. Also, what were the movies you've gotten for my husband and I to watch?" Padme asked. Elle walked over to the coffee table and grabbed the seven movies.

"Let's see. We have _West Side Story_, _When Harry Met Sally..._,_ The Lake House_, _The Notebook_, _Titanic_, _Twilight _and _P.S I Love You_," Elle read the titles out loud to Motee and Padme.

"OMF! You got _Twilight_? I never saw that yet!" Padme squealed like a fourteen year old obsessed _Twilight_ fan.

"I think you should watch _The Lake House_, Milady. Very romantic," Elle pointed out. Padme shrugged.

"I saw that one with him already. I'd love to watch it again, but when we'd finished watching it, he said 'I can't believed it took the guy basically the whole movie to realize that he had to wait to be with the girl'. He doesn't mind romantic movies, just if they have what he wants in them," Padme told the handmaidens.

"All men are like that. Especially the young ones," Elle assured the Senator.

"Maybe _Gone With The Wind_?" Motee asked.

"He said 'Basically, Rhett's in love with Scarlett, but she won't admit it. Then when she does, he decides to leave her saying 'Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn' and walks out the door.' " Padme told Motee and Elle, doing a bad impression of her husband.

"How about _Titanic_?" Elle offered.

" 'Doesn't it remind you of us? Two people fall in love, despite their differences of classes. Then the ship sinks and Jack dies.'," Padme spoke in her husband's voice.

"Is there a movie out of the pile that he didn't criticize and hasn't seen?" Elle asked.

"Yes._Twilight_."

"So, you two will be watching that then?" Motee asked.

"But I don't want to hear him complain about it. The book is awesome for girls, but I'm not so sure about men," Padme explained to her handmaidens.

" You know, Mickey,Donald and Goofy read the books and they all liked them," Elle pointed out. Padme made a confused face at her handmaiden.

" That's a cartoon," Padme told Elle. The young handmaiden looked confused now.

"I was talking about my cousins," Elle explained. Padme nodded in understanding.

"Yes, Milady. Snap, Crackle and Pop read them as well. They gave the books six thumbs up," Motee told the Senator. Now Padme looked at Motee.

"The elves on the _Rice Krispies_ commercials, or your relatives?" Padme asked.

"I was talking about three clone troopers that guard this apartment," Motee explained.

"_What's the deal with cousins and clone troopers being named after cartoons?_" Padme thought to herself.

"Well, I hope you two are right about my hus-wait! How different is the movie compared to the novel? I seriously loved the books and I don't want the movie being a total failure,"Padme exclaimed. The two handmaidens looked at each other, then back at Padme.

"The movie wasn't a _total_ disaster," Elle truthfully told the Senator. At that same moment, a buzzing noise came from Padme. She took out a communication device and turned it on.

"This is Senator Amidala"

"This is Commander Snap, Milady. A Jedi General is here, and he says that you and him had booked a meeting to discuss an upcoming vote?" Commander Snap asked Padme.

"Who is the Jedi?" Padme asked.

"General Skywalker, Milady," the commander said, speaking to the communication device.

"He said he wanted in immediately," another voice chipped in.

"Shut up, Crackle. Only the Sergent can speak into the comlink thingy," a third voice chipped in as well.

"Crackle and Pop, both of you shut up! By the way, Senator. The Jedi also said he wanted to go through the vote he would be escorting you to. He wants to hear your lecture," Sergent Snap explained.

_I should have known it was Anakin. He's the only person I know who would want to 'hear my lectures' ._ "Yes. Let him in," Padme ordered.

"Yes,Milady,"the commander said, as the device was cut off. The three girls went to go sit on the couch. They didn't talk for a whole minute.

"So, how bad is _Twilight_?" Padme asked Motee and Elle.

"Well, the movie was fine, it was just with a couple of parts they got wrong," Motee explained.

"Overall, it was good. Kellan Lutz is H-O-T," Elle pointed out.

"No way! Peter Facinelli is," Motee told Elle.

"No. Kellan!"

"Peter!"

"Kellan!"

"Peter!"

"Anakin!" Padme shouted. The two handmaidens jumped, looking at the door. Padme started laugh like crazy. Motee and Elle looked at the Senator, like she had gone bonkers.

"What? You two were arguing about who was the hot, young, sexy celebrity man. Well, all three of them are hot,anyway," Padme explained herself.

"Of course you think all three of them are hot. One of them is your husband," Motee said logically.

"You think Kellan Lutz and Peter Facinelli are hot!?" Elle asked very, very loudly. Maybe too loud.

"Who thinks Kevin Lots and Peter Fracturealli are hot?" a deep, sexy voice asked. The three girls got off the couch and ran to the door. And guess who was there?

"The one and only," Anakin said aloud.

**Hey! I don't care how sexy looking you are or how incredibly deep you voice is. You're interrupting my describingness of you. Gosh!**

"I'm sorry that 'Star Wars' has me as the main character," Anakin shouted to the author.

**I don't give a damn about you being the main character in 'Star Wars"! You're not suppose to notice me. Got that, Skyguy?**

"Got it-Hey there, Big Mouth! Don't call me 'Skyguy' and don't quote _Gone With The Wind. _Now go," Anakin ordered.

**But where shall I go? What shall I do?**

"I don't give a da- oh great! Now you've gotten me quoting Clark Gable!"Anakin shouted. The three women just stared at the young Jedi.

"Excuse me for my bad behavior ladies. That was unnecessary," Anakin apologized.

**You got that right. Sorry! I'll go!**

"Seriously, that guy scares the crud out of me," Anakin truthfully told the women.

**I'M A WOMAN AND I CAN DO WHATEVER THE F**K I WANT, DUCHEBAG! **

.................

"Uh, can I be alone with the General, please? You two can retire for the evening," Padme told the handmaidens. Motee and Elle bowed the went to the secret docking platform and left. Well, as soon as they left, Padme ran up to her husband. The two shared a very romantic embrace which turned into a very emotional kiss. Padme ran her fingers into Anakin's hair while he gentily carased her face in his big man hands, while a cheeky writer tried to describe what was going on, but just so happened to be a stalker as well, since she needed to see these two lovebirds make-

"So, Ani", Padme broke off the kiss, as she began to tell Anakin something.

"Yes, my love?" the young Jedi Knight asked his beloved. He gave his wife his cute little smile as he held her.

"I planned a date, just for you and me," Padme told Anakin. The Jedi turned around, to see the coffee table full of food and a scree. He knew what this was.

"Movie Night?" he asked. Padme nodded, smiling.

"Are we watching....," he almost asked, afraid of what Padme would say.

"Don't worry, we're not watching _Titanic_. We're watching _Twilight_," Padme told Anakin. Anakin almost held back a sigh. Padme had a _bad _feeling about this.

"Please don't tell me you know it's a chick flick," Padme hoped. Anakin just shrugged.

"Ahsoka read the books on her spare time, and she told me _every_ detail about each book. She was like 'Master, you should read the books. They're_ soooo_ good!' and so I decided to read the first book to make her happy. But then...I...fell...in love with it and read the next three in a day," Anakin explained.

"You _read_ the books?" Padme asked, very surprised. Anakin nodded sheepishly. The two lovebirds sat on the couch, facing each other.

"I didn't want to tell you when you got captured by Grievous and we blew up the _Malevolence_-" Anakin began.

"Ok, first of all, _you_ hot wired the system while I did the housewife work. Second of all, you read the _books_ since _then_?! That was like, seven months ago or something!" Padme exclaimed.

"Well, I was afraid that you'd think of me as a whiny little Padawan, that I used to be almost a year ago," Anakin told Padme truthfully.

"I didn't think of you as a whiny little Padawan," Padme told him.

"But isn't funny how the book is called _Twilight _and my ship's name is _Twilight_?" Anakin asked.

"OMF! I never actually realized," Padme exclaimed, then laughed. Anakin laughed a bit as well.

**It took you _that_ long!? What kind of _Twilight_ fan are you!? Oh sorry! I won't interrupt again.**

"So can we watch the movie now?" Padme asked. Anakin nodded, as he got up to set the movie up.

_After watching one of the most romantic fantasy vampire movies of all time..._

Anakin's eyes were wide open, when the credits came up.

"Oh no. You didn't like the movie," Padme guessed.

"Book was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better," Anakin told her truthfully.

"I thought it was pretty good," Padme told him.

"It was just missing a few stuff, that's all. Like-"

"PLEASE don't criticize the movie," Padme interupted him.

"I'm not the only one who criticized it. So did Tan," Anakin said.

"Your COUSIN read the books! He never told me that! And I see him every f**king day! How do _you_ know? You're off in the war!"Padme went into outrage.

"When did you read the books? It seems like people have read it before you," Anakin wondered. Padme looked down at her hands.

"Last week."

_To be continued.........._

**This was just something I thought of in one day, so it's not all that good.**

**Major spoil alerts who haven't seen the trailers for Season 2!!!! If you don't want to know about the clips that were leaked out, I advise you to NOT read the big paragraph!!!  
**

**BTW, has anyone seen the second trailer for "The Clone Wars Season 2"? Because I have no idea who the hell that guy is, the one who Padme hugs and Anakin watches them.** **For some reason,I strongly believe it's Palo, the guy Padme briefly mentions in "Attack of the Clones" to Anakin in the meadow scene, since this guy almost matches Padme's description of Palo: "dark,curly hair. Dreamy eyes", but I'm not positive about the last two words. And for all I know, that episode won't come out until near November or until the Season finale (which I cannot go through again. The past seven months were very dark for me. It was like the show actually left to go fight in the Outer Rim Sieges). If you do know, PLEASE TELL ME!**

**Also, there was this TV spot called "Anakin: Hero or Rebel". Well anyway, when he and Padme hug, he's got some kind of package in his hand, like some kind of box you'd put chocolates or a round cake in, I don't know. If you do know, can you please tell me? If you don't know what I'm talking about, go to , type in 'The Clone Wars Season 2 TV Spot 6 HD Star Wars' and stop it at 0:12. Sorry, I can't do link. Can anyone tell me about that as well?  
**

**The winner gets a virtual "Triple Diple Choco Chunko Chip Aero Dipped With Hersey Kisses Cookie".**

**Thanks, and don't forget to review! Please?**

**BTW, I have a pool up for a new story I'm writing for 'Star Wars' and it has to do with shape-shifters. I can't decide if the people should transform into the same or different animals. I NEED HELP! plz?**

**Another BTW, wasn't the Clone Wars season 2 premier awesome?!!!!  
**

**Thanks again!**


	2. Kids,Cookies and Holoberrys:Oh My!

**Don't worry, no long note. Well, in this chap, I get a bit serious.  
**

**I don't own Star Wars. I only wish I did.  
**

* * *

"Last week?" Anakin repeated, shocked. Padme nodded, still looking down at her hands. The Jedi stared at his wife a little bit longer. He is now roaming in space.

_I really don't care that I read the series before she did, _Anakin thought._ My Force, she's so beautiful. Just like the day I met her. Well, she may have grown taller, but how do I know? I tower over her._ _I wonder if she'll let me have one of her "Triple Diple Choco Chunko Chip Aero Dipped With Hersey Kisses Cookies". Force, I love her so much.  
_

"Anakin?" Padme asked, looking up and noticing Anakin staring at her. Her husband didn't respond, still in space.

"Hello? Anakin, my eyes are up here," Padme tried to direct her husband, as Anakin still stared at her .

"Pardon?" Anakin asked, out of La-La Land.

"What were you staring at? My breasts again?" Padme asked, loo. Anakin laughed a bit.

"I was just thinking about how lucky I am," Anakin told her,smiling. Padme moved in closer to him.

"Really? How is that, Jedi Knight?" Padme asked, looking into his blue eyes.

"Well,number 1, I'm lucky to be alive with this war going on," Anakin named one reason. Padme nodded, remembering so many nights that she worried about her Ani being off at war.

"Number 2, I was lucky to see my mother before...." Anakin didn't dare to mention _that_ night. Padme knew about it all too well. Having his mom die in his arms, Anakin went into rage and murdered all the Tusken Raiders that killed Shmi. Even the women and children Raiders.

"And number 3, which should have been number 1, is that I so very lucky that I'm married to an intelligent, loving woman, who I love with all my heart,"Anakin said looking at Padme's blushing face.

"Well, I am so lucky to be married to the hottest Jedi Knight in the Republic," Padme told the now blushing Anakin.

"I AM SOOOO SORRY, REPUBLIC!!!!!!ANAKIN SKYWALKER IS MINE!!!YOU _SNOOZE_, YOU _LOOSE_!!!!!!SUCKERS!!!!"Padme yelled at the window.

"Padme!Not so loud! What if someone heard you?" Anakin whispered.

"Sorry. I've always wanted to do that. You_ are_ mine," Padme told the Knight truthfully.

"I was going to tell you something but-"Anakin began, but just then, Padme's HoloBerry buzzed. She and Anakin read the message from a freak from the Milkey Way Galaxy, who has no life in what so ever and watches 'The Clone Wars' basically 24/7:

**U FREKIN INTERUPED HIS KOOLNESS!! R U HAPPY!!???? : ( .Sent From my Blackberry.  
**

"You are so annoying, you know that? Go F**K yourself!" Anakin screamed at the author.

** ........**

** CONNECTION LOST  
**

"Ok, there's something I have been meaning to talk to you about, so here it goes. Before I met you, I was just like any ten year old. Sure, I was a slave, but I had dreams of leaving Tatooine and spending my life as just a Jedi or a successful pilot. Then, when I met you, I knew that you were worth living for. Padme, I have loved you the second-no, the moment I saw you more than ten years ago in that scrappy junkyard. And I knew then that you would marry me someday. You are the sun of my life, the water I drink, the food I eat. I can't live without you, and I will always love you. I know you know how I feel about you, I just wanted to extend it a bit," Anakin told Padme, holding her hands. Padme looked like she was about to cry.

"Aw, Padme, don't cry. You'll ruin your make up," Anakin said, hugging a now crying Padme.

"No, no. It's not sad tears, it's happy tears. That was beautiful, Ani," Padme looked up at Anakin, which she had mascara running down her face.

"Thanks. By the way, I'm trying to think of some catch phrases. Can you help me? Please?" Anakin asked, giving Padme the puppy eyes. Padme laughed.

"After what you said, of course I will," Padme told her husband, as she kissed him on the cheek.

"Ok, do you like 'I have you know!', ' impressive,' or 'Luke, I am your father'?" Anakin asked. Padme thought as she wiped her tears.

"Well, I like the first two, but when are you ever going to tell some guy you're his father? And who's' Luke'?" she asked. Anakin shrugged.

"I think that's a cool name for a boy," he stated. Padme looked at him, confused.

"What do you mean 'for a boy'?" she asked.

"Well, if we, you know, ever just, you know, without a, you know,"Anakin tried to explain. (**I think we all know what naughty Jedi General Skywalker is talking about. hint,hint**)

"You _want_ to have children?" Padme asked, smiling.

"Uh........yeah,"Anakin said, sheepishly. They moved in to-

**KISS HER, MAN!!!! F**KING F**K HER!!!! Opps, I keep forgetting. Sorry!!!**

"Padme, may I borrow your HoloBerry?" Anakin asked. Padme pulled out her HoloBerry again and gave it to her husband. Anakin took the HoloBerry and texted to the author:

Dont get into mi personal life got that?

**Whuteva u say,skigui .**

Mi name iz anakin. Not skyguy, or skigui.

**This iz fun! Im textin 2 a hoti and hes in a diff univers. kool.**

whut planet r u on n e way?

* * *

Connection lost. Again.

"Anyway, I do want to have children. I really do. Maybe the sooner, the better?" Anakin told his wife, as he went in to kiss her, but she turned to head so he kissed her cheek.

"What's wrong?" he asked, frowning. Padme shrugged a bit.

"I want children as well, but we _can't_ right now," she truthfully told her husband.

"Why not now? How is tonight different than any other night?" Anakin asked. Padme moved and inch away from him and got into her 'Senator' character. Or her 'Politician look' as Anakin called it (he hated it).

"Think about it. If we decided to have children now, it would be very difficult to raise them. I work in my office for at least 4 hours, and I speak lectures and vote for most of the day, then when I get here, I only have a ten minute nap, make myself a quick supper, finish my 5 hours of typing and viewing bills, enhancements, all that stuff, and for the whole day I worry about you being killed. You're out in the Clone Wars, constantly getting shot at, and freeing people and planets. Because of all of this, we're both practically famous. See what a baby would have to put up with if we bring one into this time of war? I think we should wait until the war is over," Padme explained. Anakin listened as he stared at her, taking it in.

"You make it look like being a Jedi General is easy," Anakin complained.

"I didn't mean it like that. For Force's sakes, I freakin' worry about you getting killed one day!"

"It's not like I'm inexperienced. I've been training for ten years by Obi-wan, who I believe is the best Jedi Master. Well, until I become a Master," Anakin explained.

"I still have to worry about you. You're my 's my job," Padme told her husband.

"Doesn't every women in the galaxy worry about their husbands?" Anakin asked

"We seriously need to think of funny stuff to say or no one is going to want to read this chapter,' Padme suggested. Anakin nodded in agreement, thinking.

"So, can I have one of those 'Triple Dipple Choco Chunko Chip Aero Dipped With Hershy Kisses Cookies'?" he asked. Padme laughed as she went to pick up a cookie from the tray on the coffee table. But the cookie suddenly moved to the right. When she reached again, it went up in the air. Padme didn't have to think twice to know who was responsible for this. She turned to see Anakin smirking while holding his mechanical hand up, which a cookie was hovering over.

"Anakin, stop fooling around," Padme scolded her now giggling husband.

"I can't be serious _all_ the time. I might become a 7 foot 2 asmatic walking pile of metal if I become serious," Anakin tried to defend himself, as he bit into the cookie.

"Well, the good news is that there's no one interrupting us. Or going to,' Padme said, getting closer into her husband. Anakin stopped eating his cookie.

"I wif you bibn'b bay bat," he told Padme, with cookie in his mouth.

"Pardon?" Padme asked, as Anakin swallowed his cookie.

"I said 'I wish you didn't say-'," he began.

BEEEEEEP!!! BEEEEEEP!!!!BEEEEEEP!!!

"Stupid comlink," Anakin muttered. He reached to his belt and pulled out his comlink, which he figured Obi-Wan might be on the other side.

"Skywalker here"

"Anakin, where are you? I need your help. Master Windu didn't take his meds today, and he's causing a riot in the Temple and he wants you to come-" Obi-Wan began.

"SKYWALKER!!! GET YOUR F**KING A**FACE TO THE F**KING TEMPLE OR YOU'RE EXPELLED FROM THE F**KING B**CHFACE MOTHER F**KING ORDER, B***CH A**," a very mad,angry, upset voice interrupted Obi-Wan, as he screamed into the comlink.

"I come as soon as I can, Master. Don't worry," Anakin told the Masters.

"YOU F**KING BETTER, SKYWALKER. I'VE HAD IT!!WITH THESE MOTHER F**KING SEPPERATISTS IN THIS MOTHER F**KING UNIVERSE!!!" Mace yelled to Anakin

"I'll see you then, Skywalker," Obi-Wan added, as the comlink went all static.

"I got to go. Why can't Obi-Wan find Windu's meds. I had to do this for ten years, but all Obi-Wan had said to me was ' Anakin, every Jedi has a responsibility. And one of them is to take care of Windu's meds so when he needs them, you give them to him.' Seriously, Life in the Temple is hard,' Anakin told his wife, getting up. Padme got up too, although she wasn't all that happy about it.

"I wish you didn't have to go," Padme said, as she looked into his blue eyes. Anakin looked into her brown eyes. Neither wanted to say good-bye, afraid of loosing the other for good.

Padme suddenly wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him. Anakin, as well, wrapped his arm around Padme, both not wanting to let go.

"Don't forget to come back," Padme whispered to him. Anakin chuckled lightly. A too short of a second later, he let go, and walked away. When he got to the elevator, he pressed the button, and waited for it to come back up. Soon, the elavator came up, then he walked into it.

"I love you,' Padme called out to him, as he pressed the buttons. He looked up to her, and smiled.

"I know," he called back, as the elevator doors hut.

* * *

**Dramatic ending!!!!! Like in 'The Empire Strikes Back', but it wasn't at the end. But it did have Leia and Han, the whole "'I love you'-'I know'" thing then Han gets frozen. I thought that'd be cool to ad that.  
**

**Sorry that I didn't post this sooner. I meant to post this two weeks ago, and never got to. Life's been pretty busy since September started, so that's mainly the reason.**

**Anyway, I still have the poll up if n e 1 wants to vote. I need some more, since I can't decide whether the shape-shifters should be the same animals (like in Twilight) or just be different animals. And it DOES have to do with Star Wars, so no worries for any Star Wars nerd out there.**

**Happy Halloween, every one!!!!!**


	3. Windu Doesn't Have Facebook?

**I'm so sorry I didn't have this up as soon as possible.I had a hard time deciding what to write, since I had no inspiration. Then I got inspiration (duh!). I believe I had writer's block or something.  
**

**Anyway, here's the third chapter. Don't forget to review (and maybe even give ideas?)! Please?**

**BTW, sorry Padme's not in this chap (or _is_ she? DUN,DUUNN,DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. No, she isn't) Thought it would be fun to put the Jedi in.  
**

**I don't own Star Wars.I only wish I did. I don't even own the hPod idea. Or really anything at all.  


* * *

**

Probably an hour after Obi-Wan called, Anakin finally got to the Jedi Temple. When he got through the front entrance, he could sense Mace Windu's tension in the main hall. But first, Anakin quickly ran to his room, and found Windu's pills hidden in his old backpack. After obtaining the medicine, he quickly ran to the main hall, to find Obi-Wan keeping a distance from Windu, who was yelling at a Rodian youngling. The youngling looked to be about five years old, at least. Not only that, but there was about twenty Jedi Padawans, younglings, Knights and Masters watching. He went up to Obi-Wan, while he watched Mace yell.

"Obi-Wan, is Master Windu still causing a riot here?" Anakin asked his former Master. Obi-Wan turned to face Anakin, not knowing it _was_ Anakin, so he was very happy to see him.

"Oh, Anakin! Great, you're here! Master Windu still is causing a ri-"

"NO, MOTHER F**KER!!YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO F**KING MOVE THE F**KING B***H A** FACED BALL WITH THE MOTHER F**ING FORCE!! NOT WITH YOUR M*****B***ING MOTHER F**KING HAND, YOU MOTHER F**KING BI**H A** FACE!! STUPID MOTHER F**KERS!!!" Mace yelled at the very scared Rodian youngling.

"Ye-ye-yes, Master Windu. I-I-I will, Master Windu," the poor youngling trembled. He was having a hard time not to cry.

"ANAKIN!!!!!WHERE THE F**K HAVE YOU F**KING BEEN?" Mace asked, now looking at Skywalker, and left the crying Padawan, to....uh...cry. An older padawan, about 17, came over to the youngling to calm him down.

"Sorry, Master. I had to take a taxi, but the guy driving it died of a heart attack, so I went on a cargo freighter, but the freighter captain found out that his grandfather died so he wept bitterly. His grandfather was the taxi driver that died of a heart attack! Anyway, so I walked the rest of the way. But I did stop half an hour ago at Bell Express....for certain reasons ," Anakin explained.

"CAN I JUST HAVE MY MOTHER F**KING PILLS?!!!" Windu asked, still pissed off. The Knight ran up to the Master and gave him the medicine. Mace was so desperate to calm down that he shoved all 345 tablets down his throat. And with no kind of liquid to help them all down. After a few minutes, Mace finally calmed down.

"Skywalker, you saved the Temple from disaster. I was so pissed off, I was about to order the troops to kill the sh*t out of all of you," Mace thanked Anakin, patting his two Jedi stood there for a few more awkward seconds, while the group of Jedi still watched.

"Move along with your business, everyone. It's not like there's a war going on," Mace shooed the rude Jedi. All except Obi-wan, Anakin, Mace and Yoda walked away.

"Well, matters being settled, continue we must," Master Yoda spoke to the three Jedi.

"Continue with what, Master?" Anakin asked.

"Maybe if you were here on time on a regular basis, you wouldn't be asking that question, now would you?" Mace asked. Anakin was still confused.

"Why didn't you contact me? I didn't turn off my comlink-which by the way, I traded in so I could convert to an hPhone. 16GB. Got it half an hour ago," Anakin explained, taking out his 16GB hPhone and showing it to the Masters.

"Got mine a week ago,I did. Great Holonet access, it does. Yesssss. Have 1,365 friends on Facebook, I do," Yoda said, taking out his hPhone.

"I just have a Holoberry that has the ring tone 'Meet Me At the Equinox' by 'Death Cab for Cutie' every time it someone calls," Obi-Wan explains.

"What in Force's name is 'Death Cab for Cutie'?" Mace asked.

"Oh, that's a band that has a song in 'The Twilight Saga:New Moon', the sequel to 'Twilight'," Anakin explained.

"What in Force's name is 'Twilight'?" Mace asked. The younger Jedi Master (Obi-Wan) gave Mace a confused look.

"Man, do you really know what's going on in the universe?" Obi-Wan asked( although we all know he would never say that to a Jedi Master).

"Well, you see, there's this depressed teenager who moves to her dad's town and meets a sparkling, fast-running, hot-looking 17 year old boy who really is a vampire and they fall in love. New Moon is basically the vampire dumping the depressed teenager, who becomes even more depressed,so she hangs out with a werewolf," Anakin explained.

"I don't quite understand this teenager. She seems to fall in love with the wrong guys," Obi-Wan pointed out.

"I agree. Confusing, this teenage romance-drama story is. Very messed up, I assume it is," Yoda agreed with Obi-Wan.

"CAN WE JUST GET BACK TO THE MOTHER F**KING TOPIC, MOTHER F**KERS!!!!?" Mace screamed. The three other Jedi stared at him. Anakin looked like he just saw Michael Myers, Obi-Wan looked like he just found out his ex-girlfriend was dating Ben Affleck, and Yoda looked like he just sh*t his pants (which, he did).

"Sh*t my pants, I just did," Yoda whispered, still with a shocked face.

"You asked...what...'Death Cab..For..Cutie'..wa-" Anakin tried to point out.

"I DON'T GIVE A MOTHER F**KING DAMN ABOUT MOTHER F**KING 'SH*T MOON'!!!!Sorry, that was unnecessary," Mace interrupted, then suddenly calmed down.

"So, what did I miss again?" Anakin asked. The three Masters walked into a briefing room, and turned on a hologram of a desert like planet.

"We found out that some of Dooku's droid forces are on the planet Whutchamacallit and are building a droid base as well there. We must not loose that planet. It is a very important system in that sector," Obi-Wan explained. Anakin looked at him with a confused look.

"Why is it so important?"

"I don't know. Maybe the people on the planet ACTUALLY build our F**KING WEAPONS AND F**KING CLONE SUPPLIES!!!! Sorry, I did it again. Continue," Mace yelled, then suddenly calmed down.

"So am I going out to destroy some stupid 'droids'"? Anakin asked, putting empathize on the 'droids'.

"Yes you will, Skywalker. But you must take extreme care. The Adviser-person of the planet doesn't want anything damage, so you must lead the droids to the country si- WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU DOING, SKYWALKER!!!!????" Mace asked, obviouslty upset. Obi-Wan and Yoda faced Anakin, who was doing something to his hPhone. He kept on moving his fingers and stared at the tiny screen. He looked up when he felt the Jedi Masters staring at him.

"What? I'm just updating my 'Status' on Facebook. See?" Anakin told them, like it was so obvious, as he showed his hPhone to Obi-Wan. It said:

**Anakin Skywalker** is gettin ready 2 go fite on some planet. me and da clones will win! : )

Suddenly, 25 people posted their comments underneath his Status.

"Wow, it usually takes me an hour just to have that many comments on my statuses," Obi-Wan observed.

"Kenobi, it usually takes you FIVE DAYS to get just SEVEN COMMENTS!" Mace exclaim.

"Bother him, you should not, Windu. Have Facebook, you do not!" Yoda told Mace, protecting Obi-Wan.

"YOU F**KING DON'T LET ME, YOU MOTHER F**KING FROG! I AM A MOTHER F**KING ADULT, AND A SEINOR JEDI MASTER ON THE COUNCIL!!!!" Mace screamed in Yoda's shriveled up old face.

"AN ADULT YOU ARE, WINDU, YES!!!! BUT HAVE A VEEEERRRRRRRYYYYY BAD CONDITION OF WRITING ANGRY LETTERS AND COMMENTS, YOU DO!!!!!" Yoda screamed back.

"I'M THE ONLY BL*** GUY ON THE JEDI COUNCIL!!! OF COURSE I HAVE A F**KING PROBLEM, BI**H!!!" Mace yelled.

"MY FAULT THAT EVERYONE ON THE JEDI COUNCIL IS A RACIST BAS****, IT IS NOT!!" Yoda yelled. The two Jedi Masters continued to yell at each other. Anakin and Obi-Wan just watched.

"So, do you want me to load some men up to go?" Anakin whispered.

"Sure, I don't see why not. They'll probably still be arguing if it takes you weeks to defeat the army," Obi-Wan whispered back. Anakin nodded, as he walked out of the briefing room.

_Let's hope that it won't_, thought Anakin, obviously thinking about what Obi-Wan said about 'weeks'. And we all know why doesn't want to be gone for weeks. But for the people who are too dumb to understand, I would like to have-

"You know what? Let's just say that everyone who reads this IS smart enough to understand, and leave it to that," Anakin told the author.

**Don't be a baby.**

"I'm not a baby."

**Chicken.**

"What the hell's a chicken?"

**Force, you know about iPhones, Facebook, Twilight, and that I am the one writing this, and you don't know what a F**KING CHICKEN IS!!!???**

"Is it some kind of food? Sounds tasty," Anakin wondered. The author slapped herself in the face, as she shook her head.

"Do you want to go to TFWR?" Anakin asked the author.

**What's that?**

"Tatooine Fried Wamp Rat"

**Uhhhhhhhhhh......................why not?** **Wait! Don't you have to go to battle or something?**

"So what? I 'll just go before sunrise. No big deal," Anakin just shrugged as he talked.

**Ok.**

Because I am too lazy to get into detail, the two had a late supper at TFWR (which is delicious), then Anakin had to go fight off in the war.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT!!!!!??????

* * *

**So....what did you think? Kinda corny?**

**As you all have probably guessed, I'm a HUGE Twilight fan as well, so that's why it has been mentioned a LOT so far. I LOVED the New Moon movie adaption!**

**I don't hate Mace or Yoda. I love them. Really.  
**

**Spoiler Alert : I will have My version of 'Senate Spy' as the next chapter. I guarantee you will ALL LOVE IT!**

**Don't 4get to review!!! Please?**

**........**

**Anyone see that new Sarah Jessica Parker movie? You know, the one with Hugh Grant in it? I think it's called "Did ya Hear bout da Morgans?" or something.  
**


End file.
